When my son was born, there was some concern about his being OK. Especially his aunt had, initially, some concerns about the head being flat on the back, and then, when that turned out to be no problem, another possible problem she saw was that he possibly had too short legs.
But that also turned out not to be a problem, so neither does he now have a flat head nor dwarf legs, but instead, it soon became apparent that he was a very good-looking boy. Soon the word was that he would be a heartbreaker and that the girls would follow him in hordes.
These new predictions turned out to be true, and I have seen several females of all ages fall head over heels for him. On top of his looks, he also has that James Dean gene that can be another nail in the coffin for any female with resonance on that wavelength. Just look at him…
From the very beginning, I held, contrary to pretty much everybody else’s belief, the opinion that these good looks are a curse rather than a virtue. Why would that be? Everybody will love him, even if only for his looks, right? True, but for how long and at what price?
The problem is that he will not have to learn the basic forms of human interaction. There will be no need for him to learn to put his best side forward – because it’s already there. Just as a blind person will develop a much sharper sense of hearing, so does an ugly person learn to be accepted and/or liked by others by developing sharper skills in giving attention to others or compassion.
A person with very good vision does not need to develop good hearing, so neither does the very good-looking person need to develop interpersonal skills and become a ‘nice’ person.
Now we can throw in another deadly ingredient into the mix – shyness. If that good-looking person is shy, it will cause him or her to fall back onto the safest methods of being accepted – the looks; it will become more and more important to look good. On the heels of the need to look good, other forms of inferior personal traits will become relevant, like status, money, and popularity, while more important goals like happiness and spiritual fulfillment fall by the wayside.
This is a mechanism very similar to the dead ends on the path to enlightenment, as described in the article Bad Enlightenment (Edit 2026: no more; the domain sold a long time ago, and the content, even though initially saved for posterity, is nowhere to be found). A prime example of the deadliness of this curse of good looks is the large number of dead or messed-up movie stars in Hollywood. They could (and do) have it all, but then, as in the case of Marilyn Monroe, they leave the current plane because they can not stand their superficial existence anymore.
But what can be done about all that?
Hello,
Interesting read + good looking son you have there. One question however: When one is in such a predicament how does one integrate into society. When one has lived so deeply/shyly, has not developed skills to become a ‘nice’ person, or to show interest in others…what does one do? How does one practice and gain these skills? It seems that one can become extremely lonely, when blessed with this curse…
Cheers
The loneliness is definitely a problem. One well known example is Marilyn Monroe who should have been the most happy person with all the fans and admirers around – but wasn’t.
And on what to do to get away from the curse – good question, I don’t know, I myself never had that problem 😉
Well, lots of psychological research tend to demonstrate that human beings attribute to good looking people all sort of positive attributes without even having talked to them. think of competen,, generous etc. so other again show that GLP have better jobs, and better paid, and faster carriers.
Which matches pretty much in my opinion what you worry about.
Well, putting a picture of him online with an article about how good looking he is might not be the best way to keep his “good looks” from going to his head. I think you’ve done a good thing by dressing him up like a hippie douche bag so the other kids will beat him up though. That’s a step in the right direction, definitely. I kinda want to beat him up, and I don’t even know him.
Hippie douche bag? – That’s a good one!
Good looks a curse? Interesting. Since when?
Lots of people live under the REAL curse of being ugly… please… it’s like the billionaire who says:”Only poor people can appreciate life”, drinking champagne on his boat in Bora Bora: pathethic.
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@ Coruscant
Have you ever watched A Knight’s Tale? If not, go watch it. Not only is it a good movie, but they explain this “curse”.
The way I see it, it most definitely can be a handicap because A) society accepts them because of their looks and not necessarily their other good qualities. And B) they don’t have to try as hard to make friends, thus, making one more apt to miss out on valuable life lessons [that can be learned when one actually has to TRY to makes friends].
But, like you, I also think it is a good thing. Just don’t let it get to the head, and you’re good to go. (:
-Krissy x
Hi Krissy, thanks for the hint – a knights tale is on the top of my netflix queue 😉
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