In my early days as a teenage science fiction reader I had been intrigued by the idea of hearing voices in my head. Naturally these voices were always voices from other individuals than myself (maybe higher evolved) that wanted to communicate with me. Telepaths, tele-suggestors, you name it.
I don’t remember if, at that time, I actually had no voices in my head or did have them and just did not notice, but there came a time when I had these voices and knew I had them. Once I had them I wanted to get rid of them.
The first person promising silence within me was Hubbard with his book ‘Dianetics’. I was sure, after reading it, that once ‘clear’ not only pictures – unwanted ones, mind you – would be gone but also any unwanted voices, while, with perfect recall, I could still hear, in perfect clarity, anything from the past I wanted.
During the following years I had great wins with Dianetics and Scientology but the mental quietness did not quite make it into my head. It got a lot more orderly but even going through all the upper indoctrination levels did not quiet all the voices completely. These voices were sometimes nagging but certainly well-meaning because they always told me that I’m right and the others are wrong, that I was mistreated or similar (irrelevant) ideas.
And it actually makes sense. The ‘case’, defined in scientologese as the sum of all aberrations in (human) existence, was still there – apparently – because I was still running around with my bag of (mostly) water containing some sticks to hold it upright, generally pointing to it and telling others ‘that’s I’ and considering it very important.
But I kept working on it in all different ways with some successes to report as there are more and more times of quiet and peace up there in the top floor office.
Sometimes I am taken by surprise. For example when I was on my sixth day of balancing my matrix I suddenly realized that it was really nice and quiet upstairs – and it felt good, darn good.
Another instance of total quiet I experienced on one of the first full time (20 min) Japa sound meditations I had learned from an audio book by Wayne Dyer.
Obviously I will keep working on that, until one it I will go poooof.