Category Archives: Internet

Breast Smilies

In the beginning of the World Wide Web, transferring data was slow and costly, so methods were devised to minimize the amount of data transmitted and still convey the message.

One of the results was the ‘Smiley’ – an icon consisting of only a few characters and thus very cheap and fast to transmit. The added advantage was that with just three characters you could indicate that you were smiling  🙂  or frowning  🙁  instead of writing a little novel to express that this was your emotion when writing an email or quick instant message.

Since then, bandwidth has become a lot cheaper, and the reason to reduce the amount of data is not that relevant any more. But in our illiterate times, it is still necessary for many people to have the means to simply express if they are saying something humorous or threatening…

  • I’m going to kill you  🙂
  • I’m going to kill you  🙁

Obviously, specialized areas of the WWW thought that they require such symbology as well, and today we show you one area where such iconography was very successfully implemented – in the description of the female breast – a never-ending interest of the male population.

Without further ado, here are your breast smileys…

perfect breasts
Perfect Breasts
fake silicone breasts
Fake Silicone Breasts
perky breasts
Perky Breasts
big nipple breasts
Big Nipple Breasts
a cups
A Cups
d cups
D Cups
wonder bra breasts
Wonder Bra Breasts
cold breasts
Cold Breasts
lopsided breasts
Lopsided Breasts
pierced breasts
Pierced Breasts
hanging tassels breasts
Hanging Tassels Breasts
grandmas breasts
Grandma Breasts
against the showerdoor breasts
Against The Showerdoor Breasts
androids breasts
Androids Breasts
martha steward breasts
Martha Stewart Breasts

This Blog does not use rel=”nofollow”

I just installed a plugin on this blog to remove the default behavior of adding the ‘nofollow’ tag to all URLs that a commenter writes.

The ‘nofollow tag’ was intended to reduce SPAM comments on blogs because it removes the incentive to post these spam comments. Google rates a page largely by the number of links from other web pages to it. The ‘nofollow’ tag, which is added to a link as rel=”nofollow,” indicated to Google not to count this link. After this, why would a black-hat SEO add a spam comment to a blog if that link would not help him to reach his objective to rank higher?

In theory, that worked, but it had a side effect. Real commenters, who would have added value to a blog by commenting with good comments, also stayed away because they also had lost the benefit of getting link popularity. They went away to other methods of getting inbound links. Or they went to blogs that did not have that nofollow tag set on their commenter’s contributions.

I use the plugin Nofollow Free to remove nofollow tags from comment links. It is configurable in that you can choose to remove each and every nofollow tag, or only those of registered users, and you can create a blacklist of words that would trigger the addition of the nofollow tag again – the male enhancer pill with a V is probably a good member for that field.

Searching for the Most Intelligent Guy on the Web

The Most Intelligent Guy on the Internet(Historical – Google got smarter and this does not work anymore.)

About a year ago, I did this experiment in SEO to see how, with an admittedly not very often used search term, I could dominate the search engines. So I posted this blog post about the most intelligent guy on the whole web and got it to rank #1 on Google quickly.

But today, when checking out something at Google’s webmaster tools, I noticed that the link to this post generated a 404 error – oops! It took me a while to notice what was different in the URL that worked and the one that did not. A little sub-directory /blog/ – I had moved WordPress from its directory /blog/ down to the root of the website.

The whole thing turned out to be a false alarm because Google had also indexed the later version of the site without the /blog/ and the page was found just fine. But as I was already looking into this, I thought why not revisit the issue and strengthen my position as the most important guy on the internet and everywhere else.

So, yes, if you ended up here on this page, then you probably – for whatever sick reason – searched for this one totally smart guy on the web. I suppose you were hoping to find your name – sorry – but that position is taken by yours truly, Merlin G. Silk!

So, I would suggest you get a life and do something constructive.

C Ya!

Mail Backup via Self-Destructing Timeport SF40071b

=============================
Data Routing:

Venice, Italy::Timeport SF40071b::Google-Timebot AG995-f::Technorati-Glob-Deliv
=============================

Notice to receiver:
attached information is confidential information for intended recipient only!
You are to deliver included data without taking notice of content!
Physical Mail Privacy laws fully apply.
Only to be used if physical mail deliver has failed exceeding 5666 days.

========START PHYSICAL MAIL ALTERNATIVE=============

To:
Frater Otto
Charcani Chico, Arequipa,
Peru

Note to the mail carrier:
Dear Postman, Frater Otto residence is a cave at the foot of the
volcano El Misti. You can find it by going 340 steps on the road
leaving Charcani Chico and leading to El Misti. Turn right, 560 steps,
and turn left. Then all the way straight up the hill until the
entrance of the cave. Thank you so much, dear Mr. Postman!

The enveloppe had the following contents:
- a business card
- a floppy disk with a text file called log175.txt

The only letters on the business card said:
 FRATER NOVE

And the text on the floppy read:

Log #175 of the Logs of JD Flora,

Venice, Italy, ...

Venerable Frater Otto,

my name is JD Flora. By the time you receive this letter, if you
should receive it at all, I will have retreated from this Universe.
Since I have been unable to have my body being killed without creating
a new attachment in the process and thus prolonging the process of
reincarnation itself, I had to find someone to hand it over to
peacefully. This someone was a friend of you and he is now the new
owner of the body of what was once known as 'JD Flora'.

While scanning your friend's mind in order to find the 'hook' that
would make him enter my body at the very moment I would be abandoning
it, I found your whereabouts and the way to your abode in the
mountains of Peru. If you read these lines, the postman will have
understood the vague directions that I found in your friend's confused
brain.

In short, be aware that your friend, known to you as Frater Nove. did
NOT die at age 98 on today's date but rather that he transmigrated
into the body of JD Flora, 43 years old. Sensational persons call this
a 'body swap' and it can be very well considered a sacrilege of major
proportions.

Therefore I write this letter to you in order to assure you that it
was not his own doing even though he had been toying with this idea
for a very long time. In fact, reading his thoughts made me, the
'original' owner of the body of JD Flora, having the very idea of how
to exit this Universe without 'dying' and thus entering the 'Bardo',
the in-between-live area. If you had educated yourself properly (what
you probably never did), you would know that the 'programming' that is
happening during the time of the Bardo is carrying a significant risk
of being reborn into this world. Whoever should tell you otherwise, is
either blind or blatantly lying.

There is another reason I'm writing this letter. There are only few
minutes left before Frater Nove will appear here at midnight in this
rather crummy hotel in Venice, Italy, and it occurred to me that just
now that, even though I manipulated his mind carefully to follow the
steps of the ancient secret of body swapping, his heart and mind may
be too confused to let go of his old body. This means, there is a
chance that in his desperation Frater Nove may attempt to KILL his own
body in order to accommodate the process of entering my own, JD
Flora's, body.

Take notice: if Frater Nove will kill his old body in the process of
obtaining a new one, he himself, as the owner of the new body, may be
accused of the 'murder' of his old body. In the absence of witnesses,
a criminal investigation would arrive at this as a 'logical
conclusion'.

In this case, I hope that this letter, my 'confession' so to speak,
will clear him of all accusations of murder. That he, in this case,
still committed suicide in respect to his old body, is something he
has to confront himself within his deranged and confused belief
systems.

July 3rd, 1995, Venice, Italy, 00:42
JD Flora