Category Archives: Weird

Worst Youtube Videos Countdown

There was, apparently, somebody called Rocker 13666 on Reddit who created a list of the worst music videos uploaded to Youtube ever. I learned about this on GeekBeat but could not find the original post on Reddit, so, in order to preserve this list for posterity, I record it here:

  1. It’s So Cold in the D
  2. Beavis and Butt-Head – It’s So Cold in the D
  3. IceJJFish – On The Floor
  4. I Don’t Wanna be a Crappy Housewife
  5. Double Take – “Hot Problems”
  6. Zanger Rinus: ‘Met Romana op de scooter’
  7. Sateliti – Audi
  8. Wowowowow
  9. The Divine David ‘The World Is Burning Let’s Masturbate’
  10. Rick Astley – Never Gonna Give You Up

So – how was the pain – you masochist!

Oh, just one little bonus – a GE light bulb commercial…

Look Ma, No Breasts – A Photoshop Disaster

I have, in the past, enjoyed some of the Photoshop disasters that happen when the graphics editor just does not pay enough attention or is not given enough time by his editor to do a good job.

Today I found one myself…

Escali Body-Composition Scale – Groupon Online Deal

Instantly I had the feeling there was something not quite kosher but I had to look twice to see what’s wrong with that lady. I guess with the help of that scale that measures body fat she succeeded to get rid of all the fat in her mammal glands because they are not there any more.

Subliminal advertizing?

There certainly is the possibility that this model has a very long upper body, but as models are usually well-shaped and proportioned, I am leaning more towards a little mishap with the clone tool.

(clicking the photo might bring you to the Groupon page where I found this image, but there is a good chance that it will not be there when you look – just the way Groupon works.)

Courtroom Dramas – Really!

These are from a book called Disorder in the American Courts and are things people actually said in court, word for word, taken down and published by court reporters that had the torment of staying calm while the exchanges were taking place.

Attorney:What was the first thing your husband said to you that morning?

Witness:He said, ‘Where am I, Cathy?’

Attorney:And why did that upset you?

Witness:My name is Susan!

Attorney:What gear were you in at the moment of the impact?

Witness:Gucci sweats and Reeboks.

Attorney:Are you sexually active?

Witness:No, I just lie there.

Attorney:What is your date of birth?

Witness:July 18th.

Attorney:What year?

Witness:Every year.

Attorney:How old is your son, the one living with you?

Witness:Thirty-eight or thirty-five, I can’t remember which.

Attorney:How long has he lived with you?

Witness:Forty-five years.

Attorney:This myasthenia gravis, does it affect your memory at all?

Witness:Yes.

Attorney:And in what ways does it affect your memory?

Witness:I forget..

Attorney:You forget? Can you give us an example of something you forgot?

Attorney:Now doctor, isn’t it true that when a person dies in his sleep, he doesn’t know about it until the next morning?

Witness:Did you actually pass the bar exam?

Attorney:The youngest son, the 20-year-old, how old is he?

Witness:He’s 20, much like your IQ.

Attorney:Were you present when your picture was taken?

Witness:Are you shitting me?

Attorney:So the date of conception (of the baby) was August 8th?

Witness:Yes.

Attorney:And what were you doing at that time?

Witness:Getting laid

Attorney:She had three children , right?

Witness:Yes.

Attorney:How many were boys?

Witness:None.

Attorney:Were there any girls?

Witness:Your Honor, I think I need a different attorney. Can I get a new attorney?

Attorney:How was your first marriage terminated?

Witness:By death..

Attorney:And by whose death was it terminated?

Witness:Take a guess.

Attorney:Can you describe the individual?

Witness:He was about medium height and had a beard

Attorney:Was this a male or a female?

Witness:Unless the Circus was in town I’m going with male.

Attorney:Is your appearance here this morning pursuant to a deposition notice which I sent to your attorney?

Witness:No, this is how I dress when I go to work.

Attorney:Doctor , how many of your autopsies have you performed on dead people?

Witness:All of them. The live ones put up too much of a fight.

Attorney:ALL your responses MUST be oral, OK? What school did you go to?

Witness:Oral…

Attorney:Do you recall the time that you examined the body?

Witness:The autopsy started around 8:30 PM

Attorney:And Mr. Denton was dead at the time?

Witness:If not, he was by the time I finished.

Attorney:Are you qualified to give a urine sample?

Witness:Are you qualified to ask that question?

Attorney:Doctor, before you performed the autopsy, did you check for a pulse?

Witness:No.

Attorney:Did you check for blood pressure?

Witness:No.

Attorney:Did you check for breathing?

Witness:No…

Attorney:So, then it is possible that the patient was alive when you began the autopsy?

Witness:No.

Attorney:How can you be so sure, Doctor?

Witness:Because his brain was sitting on my desk in a jar.

Attorney:I see, but could the patient have still been alive, nevertheless?

Witness:Yes, it is possible that he could have been alive and practicing law.

Thanks, Beverly!

G-Male – that’s how it’s spelled correctly

If you are a gamer you know Donkey Kong. It was actually the first game my son ever had. I just learned that when I asked him how it’s spelled.

Spelling! This brings us close to the crux of this little article. The name is a translation error, a spelling error between languages, so to speak. Have you ever wondered why a game about a monkey is called DONKEY Kong? Rumor has it that it’s simply a translation error – the Japanese translator just mistook the D for an M and now we are stuck with a Monkey called Donkey. Other data suggests that the Japanese character creator used Donkey as a representation for stubbornness and Kong to indicate the monkey-ness (King Kong is a apparently a term for the generic big ape.)

Whatever is right – I like the first explanation better and stick with it, especially as it allows for a much better transition to the following video that shows that Gmail has been spelled incorrectly from the very beginning.

Here is the correct version – G-Male – and what it really means…

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Sexual Emancipation for Men

From the time of my early childhood I have seen the view on gender and sex certainly change. Initially it was the natural order of things that papa was out to work and mama was home taking care of the house and children.

Then came the ‘sexual revolution’ which changed all that. All was turned upside down and put together in a different way. Somehow I ended up with the deep rooted opinion that it is very, very bad to act in a way that could be considered sexist. Only the inner values, which are independent of gender, were considered to be relevant. You were supposed to be sex-blind.

That naturally created some discrepancy between what I could observe and what I was supposed to observe. Let’s take the example of a very pretty girl. One guy who, like me, was drilled to see only the inner values – even though that was rather difficult to do – started a conversation about philosophical questions of life, the universe and everything to engage the intellectual being inside that pretty exterior, and got nowhere.

The other guy just locked his eyes onto her body, drooling noticeable, only able to utter such intelligent thoughts as “Wow, you are so beautiful, can I have your number?” Not a single note about the inner qualities. He usually got the number.

Often the purely sexual aspect is exhibited – oozing sexuality instead of displaying a masters degree or a doctor title. And, funny enough, this is mostly done by the female, who officially works on being appreciated for her intellect and not the cleavage. Let’s take a normal business setting. Men are usually totally a-sexual in such an environment, buttoned up shirt with a tie. But the female executives often show off her non-intellectual qualities. What would happen if men would do that?

All these thought, I have to admit, never really surface totally within me, until very recently, when I ran into a picture of Angela Merkel, the German chancellor.

Ms. Merkel is probably a very intelligent person, at least in the limited political way, so why in the world is she sexualizing her appearance so much. There is no beauty in this as she is not a particularly beautiful person, and whom is she trying to arouse? Or is this just a sport to see how long it takes that male until he finally looks at her boobs? There certainly are other options to dress as you notice when you look at the person in the background behind Ms. Merkel.

When I though about how this would look like if the male part of the political world would give up its boring non-sexuality and let it all hang out as well, I became curious. So I went out to find if it did indeed exist, and to my total surprise, I found it.

George W after the sexual liberation

Wouldn’t that put a completely new face on politics? Please don’t get me wrong, I am not trying to bash either Bush nor Merkel. It is just that here we are offered by these very public figures a way to understand just how much of a double talk exists in the arena of emancipation. We could use any setting in business as well, we would, most likely, find a similar situation.

Hopefully, after draining my brain of inner conflict, I will now be able to just compliment a woman on her looks without the idea of violating the emancipation law. Because, quite honestly, I appreciate female beauty just as any other male. Just as I am sure women appreciate male beauty. Just as a side note, a co-worker of my wife once called me ‘ruggedly handsome!’ I still dearly love Sharon!

What do you think, should men start fighting for sexual equality in politics and business and dress more like George in the above picture?

Strangely Mesmerizing – Kids Song with Rifle Cartridges

I wonder if there is something built into this video that hypnotizes me…

YouTube Preview Image

There is nothing really worth seeing – OK, the girl is cute, but that is not that unusual – still I could not stop watching until it was all over.

Maybe somebody could go over the video with a fine comb and find the hidden subliminal message – watch – stay – don’t move – consume!

UPDATE: on one of my repeated (mesmerized) views of this video something caught my eye. I first could not believe it – had to rewind – watch it again – rewind – screen-capture it – and here is what I saw…

A duck with a crown of rifle cartridges?? – Now I am really curious what this video is all about.

 

The Money Bag Month

Calendar for July 2011 (United States)

This year, July has 5 Fridays, 5 Saturdays and 5 Sundays. This happens once every 823 years, which means we will most likely not see this again during our life time. It is called the money bag. According to the email that conveyed this information to me I will have to forward this to my friends and money will arrive within 4 days. This is supposed to be based on Chinese Feng Shui. The one who does not forward…..will be without money.

Obviously I could not take this risk – so – there you go…

Forklifts are Dangerous

Hans suggestst that if the job in IT and software development does not work out, there is always the option of becoming a forklift operator.

All of you who understand German can really appreciate the following short film, warning you that even though the profession of a fork lift operator is glamorous, it can be dangerous if the safety rules are not followed.

The film follows Klaus from the completion of his training as forklift operator to his first job and some of the things that might go wrong.

Be warned though – things can and do go wrong…